How Failing Nursing School Made Me a Better Person and Nurse

May 1, 2020.Reading time 7 minutes.

Everyone faces failure at some point in their lives. It can be something that can make or break you. You can use it to grow, or to become a more fearful version of yourself. One of the times of greatest growth for me was when I spectacularly failed nursing school. Now mind you, I am generally a straight A student. Prior to that occasion, I had never failed a class in my life. I was one of those annoying people who could never have a high enough grade because I expected so much from myself. To be honest, a lot of my identity had to do with being that honors student because in my youth that was the only time I had attention, interaction and friends. It became like a monster hiding in my closet.

A Little History…

In my second quarter of nursing school I fell, and the back of my head was the first to impact the ground. Disoriented, I laughed off my clumsy moment and went home to sleep off my headache. The next day I got ready for class, and it started just as a headache. Dang it, I hope this goes away soon, I thought. I had always been prone to sporadic migraines. During class, however, my senses went out of control. The light was intensified to where the details of the room blurred nearly out of vision. The teacher’s voice echoed and felt like screaming in my head. I ended up going to the clinical instructor, and she took my blood pressure and listened to my symptoms. I left early that day to the doctors where I found out I had a concussion. My symptoms, including sudden extreme dizziness, would not go away until a year later.

Back to failing nursing school…

During the months following my concussion, I had a very hard time keeping up remembering anything long enough to take a test. Somehow, I passed second and third quarter with a 3.7 GPA each regardless of my struggles. I had to learn how to work with my brain since the way it processed, learned and expressed had changed after the concussion. Fourth quarter proved to be my kryptonite. It was the most disorganized mess of a quarter. The teachers had it so poorly structured that every student had issues with trying to find the information they needed, and there were places where information would greatly contradict itself. In my clinical, I administered medications under the belief that it was permitted during that particular clinical. I was wrong. In my nursing program that is an immediate failure due to liability issues.

At first, I was mad. I blamed the lack of organization and my concussion for my failure. After my initial reaction, however, I began to feel ultimately humbled. I had complete control over whether or not I passed. I needed to have organized myself better. If there were any questions regarding the contradicting information I should have been more proactive at getting a solid answer from the teachers about what the correct info was. I also had to look at the initial embarrassingly childish reaction of blaming everything outside of me for my failure. Although there may have been contributing factors towards my failure, I am the one who failed to rise above the challenge.

Looking at the way I handled my initial reaction, I decided that this aspect of my character needed to change. Not only would this hinder my nursing career, it is a terrible character flaw in my own personality. If there is one thing my mama taught me was if I didn’t like something about myself I have the power to change it. By being able to be honest with myself and to see my flaws in all its ugliness, I was able to take on that challenge. Therefore, it made me a better person.

By recognizing what aspects I lack in, in this case taking disorganized information and translating it into an organized system I could follow, I was able to begin incorporating new organizing strategies. I am continually trying new things to help improve my organization even more. I also lightened up and realized that although knowing the information was important, I did not have to receive solid A’s to be worthwhile. It was funny, though, because the only person I had that requirement of was myself. I was setting myself up to feel bad about myself, and I didn’t need to do that.

I passed nursing school the second time around, and I am currently working as a registered nurse. Due to my experience with failing, I have become more aware of my other shortcomings. By knowing these, I have enacted strategies to avoid my own personal pitfalls.

While failing anything can be a horribly embarrassing thing to go through, it is a chance to learn more about yourself and what you failed at. The perspective you have about failure will determine what you can do about it. All journeys have stumbling blocks that are actually opportunities to become greater: a greater person, a greater nurse, a greater writer… It is important to take the time to feel your emotions, but don’t stay there. Move. Failure isn’t something to be ashamed of, it is a step closer to you being the best version of yourself possible.

Have you experienced a failure that ended up creating a better life in the long run? Are you in the middle of having failed something? Leave a comment below to get a conversation going to support each other’s growth, or to be an inspiration for someone going through what you’ve already conquered!

Self-Care for Healthcare workers

April 16, 2020.Reading time 8 minutes.

Do you ever find yourself running out the door with little done but a brush through your hair, teeth brushed and coffee in hand? Are you like I am after getting home on Sunday mornings from work and fall flat onto your bed to sleep? How do we, as members of the medical profession, find time to keep ourselves healthy? This seems to be an issue that plagues a lot of the medical profession or a student thereof. If we don’t take care of ourselves, how can we expect our patients to take our advice?

With such mottos as “save first, sleep later” and “I can catch up on sleep when I die” it shows that there is a serious lack of a mentality for self-care in healthcare. We are the pillars of health for our patients, so shouldn’t we take our own advice? Yes! As Gandhi is credited as saying, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Stress is a major catalyst to so many ailments within the body that it is the first thing that should be addressed. For some, stress reduction and exercise go hand and hand together; therefore, they can kill two birds with one stone. However, if you are not one of those people, like me, you must find another venue. This is one of the reasons why I started this blog. Whether your stress is relieved by writing, baking, or TV doesn’t matter, find something that works for you. Be sure that whatever you use to reduce stress does not create more stress, like video games for people who have a strong emotional reaction to losing. Try to include another aspect of your life that requires attention if possible. What do you do to reduce stress? Register to comment below with stories and tips for stress reduction!

Focusing on fitness tends to weakness for a lot of people in healthcare. While it makes sense that we get tired after giving everything we have at our work, then come home to our obligations, it is easy to push our physical health to the back burner. Children, large properties, a loved one you are caring for like a nurse at home, there are many obligations that we have at home to contend with. This does not necessarily mean we look at it with a negative attitude, but sometimes it can become overwhelming. Some people love going to the gym and have no problem having the motivation to add exercise to their long to-do list, but for those of us who feel more like taking a nap than to entertain that idea, there are ways to incorporate movement into your daily routine without a gym.

Get those steps in! An easy way to start improving your health is to ensure that you are moving around regularly. Get extra steps in by making rounds down the halls, you are able to keep an eye on your patients and get exercise in one. If you are in home health, sometimes stepping in place is a necessary but workable adaptation to get more movement.

Fidget. That’s right, those who fidget burn around 350 extra calories a day! Other unconventional ways to burn extra calories include laughing, drinking more water, squat instead of bending, chewing gum, pacing while on phone calls, tip-toe, to name a few. Do some research on easy ways to affect the areas of your body you would like to see improvement.

Go Play! Everyone is different as to what sounds like fun. I like to start out my morning by putting on a great upbeat song and dancing my heart out to it prior to getting ready for work. I feel invigorated and it helps me start my day in a great mood. Integrate something in your life that you can do in a few minutes that gets you moving and makes you smile.

Be creative! Whatever makes you smile and will burn some calories is a great addition to your day. Don’t stress about the fact you ate that cookie, enjoy every bite of it. Guilt and shame never made anyone healthier, actually the opposite. Instead find a way to let the things you love be the motivation for you to get moving. I am more likely to exercise when I remember that I can eat more when I do (Foodie alert).

Be proactive for mental health. Trauma is a fact of life for most healthcare workers. If there is anything that is causing post-traumatic stress or negatively impacting your mentality, do something about it. See someone, speak to someone about it. Even if it isn’t professionally, be sure to take steps for your mental health. This affects both professional and personal lives, as well as your physical health.

While there are many things we can do to incorporate self-care, I would like to promote that we, as medical professionals, work together to support taking care of ourselves in and out of the workplace. When in nursing school, my class would group up and go for walks during our breaks. We would encourage each other to take moments to care for ourselves. By the end of our program, we had created a patterned behavior to help ensure that we moved even when we spent all day in class. We would promote eating healthy, but also promote doing things that would make us happier. For example, in our morning coffee, we had whip cream to put on top. This is very few calories and sugar but would always start out the day with a smile. For me, this was a great way to counteract some of the stress. Everyone has a different challenge to overcome regarding movement and other aspects of self-care. Create a plan on what would work for you in your workplace. If you have any strategies or ways to keep self-care consistent, please register and leave a comment below! Let’s get the conversation started…

The Many Faces of Healthcare: Registered Dietitian

March 13, 2019.Reading time 12 minutes.

Welcome back to The Many Faces of Healthcare series! Today’s post was written by the incomparable Kirsten Capp of the popular blog https://f00dventures.wordpress.com/ When discussing healthcare, it is a great reminder that the medical field is not for everybody, and within the medical field there are positions that do not suit everyone. There are many areas where we need to improve in differing aspects such as communication, teamwork and understanding each other and our roles. This will, obviously, greatly be dependent on where you work and who you work with. The following regards the frustrations which can occur between different roles in healthcare and how it can affect the individual.

Guest written by Kirsten Capp:

When I was first approached to contribute my story for this series I wasn’t quite sure where to start. Unfortunately, it wasn’t because I didn’t have anything to say when it came to the topic of frustrations and things that have helped or hurt my quality of care when it came to my patients. I have plenty to say on that front. Let me preface this by saying that I have not worked in clinical care since 2013. My short-lived experiences were enough to turn me off to the entire notion of hospital care. But let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

I started out in a completely different career path as an art/graphic design major before switching to a science-based degree and majoring in dietetics, so I could become a registered dietitian. Part of me knew that clinical care wasn’t for me, especially with my artistic background. I knew I would be unfulfilled in clinical care but in order to become a dietitian, I had to complete a 9-month, 1200-hour unpaid clinical dietetic internship. So, I sucked it up and applied for internships. Nothing could have prepared me for how traumatizing hospital work would be, though.

First off, the other dietitians were cruel and not compassionate in the slightest, which I found really ironic since they worked in a hospital. Their job was to help others. I had a hard time working with most of them, but what really frustrated me was the hospitals views on patients themselves. They saw patients as numbers. They did not treat them as human beings.

The reason I became a dietitian was to help people. I would often spend extra time with my patients because most of them were sad, lonely, scared, etc. I also mostly worked with elderly patients and their families didn’t visit often. Therefore, I would spend extra time with them to brighten their day. Now I did have an underlying motive, happier patients were more likely to work with me rather than against me when it came to their diet education and lifestyle changes. That, however, wasn’t my sole motivation for spending extra time with my patients. I really wanted to make their hospital stay a bit more pleasant, and if they happened to also eat more because of that then great!

However, the hospital and my preceptors eventually caught on to the fact that I wasn’t just moving from patient to patient. They told me I needed to basically act like a robot and just get through patient after patient and spend as little time with them as possible. Sorry, that’s not gonna fly with me. If it were my family member, I would want the healthcare team spending the extra time. And you know what? Every single patient of mine and their families loved me because I gave my patients that extra attention and quality of care. My preceptors, however, did not see it that way. They just saw it as me wasting time, and they would yell at me. A lot. To the point that I would often go home in tears on a pretty daily basis.

Edited from a photo by ja ma on Unsplash

The other frustrations I had were, I hate to say it, but with some of the nurses, as well. Now let me preface this by saying that not all nurses were bad to work with. I worked with some great nurses and some not so great nurses. I really hesitated to write this portion because I don’t want to get attacked, but there are certain things nurses need to be aware of so that we can all work together to provide the best care for the patient. First off, I would get chewed out a lot for “bothering” the nurses to ask about my patients’ appetites. They told me that I needed to learn how to do my job and to stop bothering them with trivial questions. Ok… part of my job as a dietitian is trying to figure out how my patient is actually* eating, so I know how to adjust their nutrient needs.

I can’t do my job properly and give the patient the quality care they deserve if I don’t have the full picture. Patients and their families tend to lie or bend the truth when it comes to intake. So, I would ask multiple people on the healthcare team in an effort to get a full, accurate picture of how the patient was eating as well, as their bathroom habits (that also effects my recommendations). The problem was that some of the nurses thought I just called them for shits and giggles. Look, I hate calling people so it’s not like I enjoyed this part of my job, and I wouldn’t do it if it weren’t necessary.

Second, we were all there to provide the best care for the patients. Another thing that the nurses I worked with liked to do was diet education, which was technically my job. Now, I understand that some nurses are qualified to give diet education and that’s great. The more people that can help relay the information to the patient the better. However, some patients were not ready to be bombarded with all of the information at once. I mainly worked with newly diagnosed diabetic patients, so it was my job to start them off with basic guidelines to follow and go from there.

While I was educating, I was also gauging how much my patient was understanding and retaining, so I knew just how much information to give them without overwhelming them. The issue was that some of the nurses would often educate the patient with information that I wasn’t ready to give to my patients just yet. I understand that the nurses were trying to help, but I really needed them to understand that I had reasons for giving the information in the manner that I was. Maybe in instances like this where there might be a multi-team approach to the education, it could help for the dietitian and the nurses to discuss the plan for education beforehand so that they are all on the same page.

One part of the team that I think doesn’t get enough recognition are the nutrition service attendants. I became fast friends with them! Not only were they nice to me, but they spent a lot of time with the patients. Therefore, they were able to get a lot of information from them and relay it to me. They were always willing to work with me to help out with the patients. Please don’t ignore the nutrition attendants, they are such valuable members of the healthcare team!

I mentioned that I no longer work in the clinical field, so you may be thinking what do I do? While I worked in the hospital there were several opportunities for me to make infographics and things of the sort to relay nutrition information. The entire healthcare team started calling me the “creative” dietitian because I was particularly good at relaying information in a fun, visually appealing format (hello art/graphic design background). That is when I found my true calling. I found that I do better with working “behind the scenes” as it were.

I now use my social media platforms to share my knowledge about nutrition. I can also reach a lot more people through social media than I could working in the hospital. I have had so many people reach out and tell me how I have helped them in one way or another, be it helping them with overcoming disordered eating, changing the way they view healthy food, or inspiring them get back in the kitchen and learn how to cook again. I love being a dietitian. I just didn’t love being one in the hospital. Maybe if the hospital starts viewing its patients as actual people I will change my tune. For now, though, I am happy with what I’m doing.

Join Kirsten on her social media or blog at:

Instagram: http://instagram.com/F00dventures

Facebook: http://Facebook.com/F00dventures

Blog:http://F00dventures.wordpress.com

Tweets by f00dventuresRD

The Many Faces of Healthcare: Introduction and Guest writer Kate, Respiratory Nurse

February 1, 2019.Reading time 13 minutes.

There are many faces of healthcare and each role is very different, even under the same credentials (nurse, doctor, etc). There are many wonderful things that health providers experience, and many not so great things. The stories we have are many and range in emotion from gut-busting laughter to tear jerking. Sometimes we work superbly as a team, and other times not so much. There is an underlying lack of ability to communicate what we do, what things hinder our jobs, and such on the job without potential repercussions. The purpose of this series, “The Many Faces of Healthcare,” is to shine a light on the many roles of the healthcare worker (from housekeeping to physicians), their stories, their frustrations, create a conversation that we are unable to do within the workplace, and to help educate others to help us create the best care teams possible. I want to note that in this I am considering the patient as part of the care team, as they should be.

These entries are guest written by individuals who explain their experiences in their own words. Their experiences are personal to them. Understand that we may touch on sensitive subjects from time to time but let’s please keep the conversation civil even with disagreements. However, I would love to see a good conversation going with these posts, even if only to acknowledge the guest writer for their work.

Without further ado, the first guest writer is the lovely Kate (See the bottom of the post for links to her social media and blog! Check it out!). She is a respiratory nurse in a British hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s hard to pick one story out of so many experiences, I find I’m often drawn to death and dying, maybe because it’s one of the most impactful, tragic and unique experiences we have to go through daily as nurses. So although I seem to write a lot about it, I think this will be a little more about the experience of being a nurse in the whole, though the amount of work I do in day I don’t think I will be able to fit in one story. This particular shift handover is an amalgamation of many shifts.

Five in the morning I’m apprehensive, which isn’t unusual for many a nurse (and/or many other professions). I feel utter dread at the thought of going to work. I know this is rather depressing but it’s hard to explain the absolute love/hate relationship nurses have with their job. At the hospital I pull up on the side of the busy road where I regularly park. Traffic slowly buzzes past my car and I laugh at the comedic dark thought that jut drifted through my head, something about if I were hit by a car. The hospital would be ringing to ask me when I could get back to work before I had even left the emergency department.

I can feel my stomach grumbling, as I stupidly haven’t eaten breakfast. This early in the morning I just can’t eat without feeling sick, so I just don’t. The feeling isn’t just hunger, it’s concern and anxiety. How is the day going to be? Will we have enough staff? Will I get put in the bay with the biggest work load for the third time in a row? Will I have to do CPR today? Will I give bad news? Will there be many people going home? What will I learn? Will I make a mistake? My head is packed with millions of thoughts flitting in and out of my mind.

A few of us stand around in a small office, not many people today. We will be sharing our axillary nurses, who will be pulled in a million different directions. I walk into my bay, there are three different packs of people. Two groups are congregated around the two beds at the end, and I can see a group with the curtains pulled partially around one of the beds at the front of the bay. We have two very poorly patients my colleague says, both are on non-invasive ventilation (NIV), both have chronic obstructive lung disease, one seems to be getting better, and one seems to be getting worse.

The lady that is seeming to get worse, is on observation every fifteen minutes. I look over the bed at the lady and smile. A very old pair of big brown eyes look back as she flashes a weak smile. Her family all look dreadful, as they see us they anxiously ask if we can try her on the bed pan. I nod and smile. “That will be fine we will just finish the hand over and we will get to her,” I say, “I’ll try and get an auxiliary to help me.” They are thankful.

We move on to the next lady who is having a break from her NIV, she’s smiling and laughing with her family, most of whom seem much more well rested than the previous family. She is much better now and her oxygen levels are improving and blood gases are improving. Overnight she had been much more like the first lady, my heart feels better, and I remind myself that out first lady will get through. I make a quick wish for her.

Another two ladies in the bay are also on Intravenous (IV) antibiotics. These two ladies are much healthier than the previous two, one is pulling her drip along to go and get herself dressed. She’s a really pretty elderly lady with mousy features and a lovely smile.

“Do you need anything?” I ask her as she passes by.

Smiling back with a sad smile, “No, I’m fine dear. You have a lot of work to do.”

She’s right I do, but I don’t want her to go without because of my work load. I can see she has no towels, so I make a note to quickly nab some for her and check she is ok after finishing handover.

The next lady I have looked after over the past two weeks, she has a huge smile across her face.

“Hello lovely!” getting up off her bed she gives me a massive bear hug. Being a larger lady she squeezes me until I squeak. “I’m going home!” She clasps her hands over her mouth with glee, “And the doctor said I can go to Florida for my daughter’s wedding!”

“Thank god!” I laugh with her, I move out of her grasp smiling widely, “We would have never heard the end of it if they had said no!”

Playfully she hits my shoulder laughing,

“I’m not that grumpy,” laughing hard, she does a little dance on the spot. I join in laughing.

“Go and get a wash so you can get going then!” I add, as she gathers her things and skips off towards the shower room. I quickly make a note to get her discharge papers and medication sorted out, after I have got everyone washed and dressed.

We get to the last lady who is behind the curtain with her family. I hear the beep of her syringe driver, quietly poking out from under the pillow. This lady has a lot of family surrounding her, they look worse than the first lady’s family did. I can see that the old man sitting next to her holding her hand has been crying. He looks like my grandad, and she looks like my grandma. He looks away from me, he doesn’t want me to know he’s sad. Pictures surround her bed of them when they were younger getting married, with young children and going on holiday. It makes me sad too, but I don’t cry, I don’t want to look like I can’t cope. This lady should have a side room so she can die with more dignity, but there are none left. The smell of old coffee from the tea tray drifts around my head. It’s mixed with the eerie clinically clean smell, which is at every hospital.

“I’ll get that!” I say, manoeuvring around family members and squishing myself against the wall to get to it.

“You should be a contortionist!” The lady says, with a tired laugh.

“I know there’s never enough space!” I grin at her, I have heard the joke many a time before, but I humour her, maybe it gives her a bit of relief.

Wandering off with the syringe driver under my arm, I know I have a hard day ahead, but I have this feeling in my stomach because I know I’m making a difference. I’m hopeful and determined to try and get my ladies that are ill better. I’m sad because I know one of my ladies is going to pass away, and her family is going to be devastated. I’m happy because I know I am sending one lady home who deserves to see her daughter get married in Florida, and I am motivated to patch all of their problems, if I can. I have a reason for being here.

Follow the lovely Kate at:

Blog: https://whatisnormalfor.wordpress.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Whatisnormalfor

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katgoo27/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kate__whatisnormal/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/whatisnormalfor/

Gift ideas for the nurse in your life:

Challenged! Would you rather…

January 17, 2019.Reading time 7 minutes.

I was tagged in a blog challenge by the incomparable @Geraldine_Talks at http://geraldinetalks.com/would-you-rather-tag/ I love these challenges because I answer questions that lets you know more about me! Fair warning, I AM a dork and a weirdo (not in the creepy sense, unless you count nursing humor. However, nursing humor is a prerequisite for being able to handle being a nurse, but I doubt this post it going to get into THAT right now). Without further ado:

THE RULES:
• Answer the questions given to you by your nominator
• Make up your own questions and tag others!

MY QUESTIONS TO ANSWER

Would you rather have the ability to fly or breathe underwater?
I would prefer to fly. It would be even better if I could breathe in space so that way I could visit places such as the seven sisters, or the crab or horse head nebulae.
Would you rather live alone forever surrounded by all the books you can read or surrounded by (tame) animals?
This is probably the hardest question on here for me. HMM. I would probably choose books, although either way I would definitely miss the other option. I love the unconditional love that animals give and are entirely entertaining on their own, but I love what you can learn and the places you can go in your imagination with books.
Would you rather have big feet or big hands?
I already have big feet for my size (I’m 5’ 1” or just under 155 cm), so that is an easy question for me. I’d stay the way I am! I have really small hands and what would be normal size feet if I was about half a foot taller.
Would you rather drink coffee or tea for the rest of your life?
I would definitely choose coffee. It’s coffee in the morning, coffee in the afternoon and coffee in the evening for me! In nursing school, I was joined in by another student in which we were termed “The Coffee IV Twins” because we were always drinking coffee! (Shout out Kathryn!). It is literally my favorite thing to drink.
Would you rather be hairless (and I mean hairless, including your eyelashes and eyebrows) or very hairy?
I would rather be hairy than to have no eyebrows and eyelashes. I already grow hair very fast so it wouldn’t amount to a huge difference with upkeep! Haha! (TMI?)
Would you rather have unlimited sushi for life or unlimited tacos for life?
No brainer here! Tacos all day every day! Even better if they were guaranteed not to make you gain weight, I would just about it only tacos! (I’m also a big Italian food fan).
Would you rather know when you are going to die or how you are going to die?
I plead the fifth here.
Would you rather be permanently live 500 years in the future or 500 years in the past?
500 years in the future. No going back, only moving forward!!!
Would you rather get 1 free round trip international plane ticket every year or be able to fly domestic anytime for free?
Difficult question, but I’d probably choose domestic anytime for free because United States of America has pretty much every climate and a lot of wonders, plus family, to visit. Although, I have a few countries I do intend on visiting eventually.
Would you rather be toothless or go bald?
That’s easy! Bald. Imagine all the awesome hairstyles I can wear without ANY hairstyling time in the morning. Toothless would suck because dentures are quite a pain in the ass (I would know, nurse here!) If I was toothless I wouldn’t get dentures, I’d spring for the implants because… no. Not happening.

What would your answers be?

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU

Would you rather have only one book to read for the rest of your life, or only one movie to watch?
Would you rather have picture perfect memory without a degree, or have a PhD already accomplished?
Would you rather get perfect knowledge from a blue rhino where people would call you crazy, or imperfect knowledge from a professor (but being socially accepted)?
Would you rather have the highest number of views on your blog but without connecting, or a few views where your content hits home for the audience?
Would you rather read or write for the rest of your life?
Would you rather dress in 20’s-40’s fashion or today’s fashion (minus the restrictions imposed by 20’s-40’s regarding clothes).
Would you rather participate in a murder mystery (like a dinner production) or write one?
Would you rather be a famous writer for your blog or for books? If for books, what genre(s)?
Would you rather eat sweets or salty food?
Would you rather move to a foreign country to learn their language, or learn their language before visiting?

I am tagging (Be sure to check out these lovely ladies blogs!)

Jenni at https://housewifehustle.blog/

Each of the trio of lovely ladies (ALJ) at https://mylifelines.co

Telia at https://lifewithtelia.com

Rachel at https://myspottedblog.com

Millie at https://msblife.home.blog

Angela at https://hidingbehindbooksblog.wordpress.com

Melissa at https://worksuckschronicles.com